One of three things happens to your passions once you become a time-strapped mother:
1. You quietly die inside and resent it.
2. You keep pursuing your passions and finding your forward.
3. You become horribly hobbified.
Option one is clearly “bleh" and the number one reason we have an epidemic of “ghosts at the table” around the globe.
Option two is the courageous path of ordered beauty. It’s what Fit Catholic Mom is all about!
And then there’s option three.
You tell yourself you no longer have the time or freedom for your passions much less yourself, and your health and happiness take a nose dive.
You decide you’re past your prime so what’s the use in doing anything really well.
And in that moment of rationalization, you’ve become a hobbies at best, a wobbly-hobby woman dabbling daily.
Yes, you feel the brief stab in the heart, but come on. You have to be realistic. How can you be expected to stay after it when you’ve got a husband, kids, and bills to pay?
In short, you believe the lie that this will extract a price you cannot pay.
You think it will it will mean doing your job as wife and mother poorly or that you’ll miss out on something important in the development of those in your charge.
You think saying “yes” to your passions means saying “no” to your family.
You look at motherhood and see only constraints and liabilities: less time, less money, less drive, less ability.
But you forget the assets…the ways motherhood forges you for greatness.
Yes, clearly you cannot pursue things the way a 23-year-old bachelorette would, but you are older and wiser and have the network, the hard-earned emotional intelligence, the life experience, and the “WHY” required for success.
You do this for others so that you are more life-giving, more capitalizing and more creative, making your life a model of ordered beauty.
You do this by getting down to the essence of what makes you, YOU…the 5 hours a week you dedicate to it is more than enough to bring your audience to their knees.
Motherhood isn’t a LEGITIMATE excuse for making a hobby of the things you should be dedicated to: wholeness and holiness!
Motherhood isn’t a liability. It is the single most effective strategy you have for your sanctity and success.
Try, and then try harder,
If you cannot find your forward, let me gently help you. I do it everyday. Book a free 1-hr. chat to light your fire and get the clarity and confidence you crave! Book now.
Every woman has a dream. Every woman has the life she imagines. She populates the thought of it with holy silence, attentive prayer, an able body, a timeless, pure mind and achievements through actions.
She also has the life she actually lives with more than her fair share of reality- heaping doses of life’s minutia to claw her down and hold her in place.
All one needs to do is look at her dishes and laundry. Over and over and over again, the potential means of her sanctification, but usually just her continued frustration. She doesn’t need freed from the mundane. She shouldn’t seek separation from the monotony.
What she is really desiring is a heaping dose of perspective, the perspective that it’s all worth it: every dish, every load, every working hour, every assignment, each wiped bum and every minute of lost sleep.
Somehow, her faith in God shows her that all these losses of personal time and self are gains of eternity and other, and so it all sits right again for a minute.
But what if her rut is so deep that she isn’t even imagining her better life? What if she is so spent and run utterly on fumes that she might cease serving and caring, loving and living with devotion and dreams?
It happens. It happens a lot. I can happen to you and can happen to me.
She needs the practical feedback that she’s moving forward, climbing and notching out progress toward her eternal goal.
Don’t you think though that each day is laced with ruts, crevasses and caverns in which to become fully entrapped and resent your motherhood? The Father of Lies starts cranking the pity party machine to make you spiteful and self-sabotaging just as soon as your eyes open each day.
Just today, my kids have been bonkers. Literally, driving me a bit crazy and I am getting no where fully realizing I could cave and eat horribly (actually there’s no junk in the house so that would be hard), lay down and wallow in my bed ignoring them in a negative emotional state or dive into the shallow waters of social media and numb myself up for a while.
Nah! No way am I going to soften and cave and so I tell myself:
Rise up woman!
Claim your place!
Rise up mother!
Get gritty and courageous!
Rise daughter of the King!
Gather your strength and engineer your goals.
Be realistic and get resourceful.
“Find your forward” or forever wish you had,
Every day women book a slot to chat with me to get clearer on what they have to work with or what is working against them. I can help steer you and cheer you on. You are not alone. Not a bit. I would love to hear your voice and pray with you offering you what I know on a call in the near future. You can begin again to finally and fully uncover the life you imagine. Book a free chat and let’s get you out of that rut forever!
You wake up and think that maybe today will be different. Surely it must! The streak of disappointment and discontent has to end somewhere…or does it?
You think that it’s time the clouds of family life will part and the sun will shine bright on a ton of undistracted, perfectly connected progress for you.
You feel like there’s no where to go down any further in your lack of production; producing the good fruits of the Christian life in body and soul.
You feel thwarted and trapped.
Another day unravels the minute it begins, AGAIN!!
You’re at this point already sipping on sugar and caffeine, snapping at children, burdened beyond belief just to make a few calls, hustle kids to another activity and pay bills which bring your balance near the red.
But, it’s designed by you.
After all, you’re the adult!
No one told you to stress out doing more kid activities, to buy more addictive, artificially colored and flavored foods, to turn on the television and hook the kids into something so maybe they won’t fight and to bury yourself in the shallows of social media.
You chose to.
No one is the adult in your home more than you. If you aren’t going to call the shots which cultivate truth, beatify and goodness for your family in body and soul, who will?
It’s time you take a good hard look in the mirror and decide that there’s another way forward.
There’s more truth to uncover and live.
Every single choice is holding you in a place of just surviving or scaling you up to thriving.
IT’S THAT SIMPLE.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10
You are being taken for your joy.
Your zest is being stollen daily.
Your ability to live well is dying off.
Do something about that today before it’s too late.
For abundance and life,
I will coach you for free on what may be the most important call you'll ever make. Book a chat here.
You come back from the class, the group or the conference. You are a CHANGED WOMAN.
You see it all so clearly: how things were, and how they now will be.
Everything you do is infused with your new inspiration: the way you rise in the morning, how you tackle the dishes and the routine that will revolutionize the kids hitting the hay.
And then, one of your kids knocks a full glass of juice to the floor.
You feel a sharp pang of the old frustrated and impatient you, but in an act of the will you take it with power and poise.
Then you remember that the baby is fussy, teething and nursing to no end. There is a flash of annoyance and the familiar feeling of a trap, but you feel your new power and swallow it quickly down as if it won’t add up and consume you.
But then, a deeper blade: you hear in your husband’s voice some condemnation for why things aren’t in order. Things are undone or never undertaken and you’ve managed nothing of greatness on the day, much less a shower.
And the unspoken word says "So, you’re a changed woman, huh? I’ve heard it all before. We both know you’ll be back to your old mess soon, so trash that fantasy that you were going to wear a cape and accomplish anything!
Add so the cycle of would-be transformation plays out again and again.
And each time you’re brought shocked and reeling back to your old reality…
Each time you hit the end of the tether you thought you’d broken…
You’re tempted to believe that maybe your true place is here in the mud after all. Maybe motherhood is just so messy that you should wallow and sulk.
Something shrivels inside and the callous around you thickens.
But know this: you, there in the mud isn’t proof of failure, or some indicator of your "true place in the world."
You've just failed (so far) to anchor that transformation properly.
You must consummate the feeling of transformation with the acts of transformation and you need true FORMATION to learn to gracefully do that.
At any age and any stage you can stand on the mountain and rise up from the pit.
I live it and love it and will show YOU, yes you, HOW!
I sure hope you’re not hating.
I sure hope you know by now how to hold your tongue.
I sure hope you banish your nasty thoughts.
I sure hope you keep your cruelty in check.
What if I told you that a lot of Catholic women can’t do this yet? What!! Isn’t this crucial to being virtuous and making progress spiritually?
Well, it is, but a lot of women withhold some ground in this regard as if it were to sacred to touch.
That ground is YOU sister! You HATE on yourself!
You don’t let your attained virtue get close enough or penetrate YOU, as if you’re somehow outside of your own system of virtue.
You apply the rules of love to others, but you’re your own version of UNWORTHY.
Yep, so the hater in you is gonna hate.
What if there was a way to free you up from this cycle and power you forward to feelings of overwhelming gratitude and love for YOU?
It all reminds me of my nephew who just visited over lunch and said he hates cherry BBQ sauce.
I asked him if he loves cherries? “Yes,” he replied.
I asked him if he likes BBQ sauce? “Yes,” he replied.
“Then how do you know you wouldn’t like cherry BBQ sauce since you haven’t tried it?”
Well, most of you haven’t tried the award-winning combination of selflessness and self-care.
They do, in fact, go together!
You can be both selfless and care about yourself.
I work with moms everyday to help unlock the mystery of them showing up for themselves spiritually, physically and nutritionally.
This has ramifications because the hate is converted to love, self-love in a right and ordered sense as derived from an all good and loving God in whose image YOU are created.
I cannot tell you how powerful it is when you stop hating…on yourself!
“For freedom did Christ set us free: stand fast therefore, and be not entangled again in a yoke of bondage.” Gal. 5:1
In His loving grip,
P.S. Book a strategy call with me NOW, so you can break the bars of the self hating bondage. You deserve better and you are better than this. Let mercy flow unto yourself…NOW!
Who me? Yes, you!
By now you’ve heard of the 5 Love Languages.
You might be able to list them nice and neat or better yet, live them total and complete!
You see, all of us have some hardwiring which makes the list line up more perfectly in our person and it’s very telling to figure out what speaks love to you, and which ways you give love in return.
Words of Affirmation- actually speaking life into another.
Acts of Service- thought, time and effort put into service.
Physical Touch- security through this human connection.
Quality Time- time given without distraction, just action.
Receiving Gifts- the “stuff" that objectively shows you care.
Just yesterday my children and I tackled one tough workout as a team. I was shocked when everyone decided they wanted to join me. After I clicked a few more helmets onto kids, we were off and running away from the house to hit the dirt road through the surrounding hills.
Well, one good attitude lead to another before I knew it, we’d committed ourselves to an 8 mile hilly dirt loop. No worries! Just me with a 2mo. old and 3 year old in the jogging stroller and a 6, 8, and 12 year old on mountain bikes. What could possibly go wrong…or right?
The connection we felt as we completed this feat together was awesome, and just in case you think this is our normal and that my kids are highly conditioned for efforts like this all the time, they’re not! It was a big deal to get us all our running and rolling for that duration, but worth it.
I pumped up their efforts with heartfelt Words of Affirmation: "you can do it, you’re such a power peddler, you really cruise, Jesus would be proud of your attitude!”
They Received the Gift of helping to craft the adventure according to pace, route and purpose. We went substantially further than planned and they took ownership in that effort too.
The Physical Touch at our minimal pit stops came in the form of a quick high 5 or hug, a chance to sit on my lap upon a roadside stump a quick cuddle during one breastfeeding.
Pushing the stroller while running steep hills and joyfully aiding my 6 year old daughter with lots of pushes and sustained assistance certainly exhibited Acts of Service to her.
All the kids achieved something significant and celebrated this incredible dip into Quality Time with each other. It felt like “family-ing” at its best!
(Always thinking ahead of a possible meltdown or coup, I did secretly text their Papa at one point and tell him to bike around the mountains to surprise them from the other direction with oranges and salami, but he didn’t and yet we survived and didn’t fade. Phew!!)
I, therefore, cannot tell you how important a tool physical exercise should be in your life!
Life is spoken into you and out from you by these efforts. Don’t box up your need for physical efforts together so small that you always toss it off the table of things you’ll do today.
Make it big, keep it prominent and go out and live the life you imagined, one lived in LOVE!
Every efforts is more than no effort at all.
To God be heaps of glory and praise eternal,
P.S. Chat with me to get you moving again physically, spiritually or nutritionally. It’s time MOMMA!
When you have the blinders on you don’t know where you’re going.
I feel this in the case of a woman I recently spoke to. She was raised as a Sedevacantist. For those learning a new word up me writing this, Sedevacantism is the position, held by some traditionalist Catholics, that the present occupier of the Holy See is not truly pope due to the mainstream church's espousal of what they see as the heresy of modernism and that, for lack of a valid pope, the See has been vacant since the death of Pope Pius XII in 1958.
Without diving into the whole pool of mess regarding the above statement, let us examine one powerful lie she was expected to live, “I was expected to live in a perpetual state of suffering. The more miserable I was the better off I was spiritually.”
Whoa! Can you stand the thought of it?
We all know the merit of self-denial for being chosen and freely enacted by an individual. It’s the going without, the avoidance of something for holiness’ sake.
Take this one step further and it wades into self-mortification, which is also meritorious, but a more extreme wherein, one willingly and knowingly chastises their own flesh to different degrees to subdue it. This external good is only as such, if it conforms with a simultaneous internal mortification.
It is certainly true that "those who belong to Christ have crucified nature, with all its passions, all its impulses.”
We ought to all be working on it and according to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “[t]he way of perfection passes by way of the Cross. There is no holiness without renunciation and spiritual battle. Spiritual progress entails the ascesis and mortification…”
Well, when you have a woman fully accepting that her misery is normalcy, that breeds contempt of the flesh, of her vocation and of life itself.
Can she not desire a healthy body?
Is she wrong to work on becoming fit in the flesh?
Is she sinning to create strength and stamina through intentional exercise?
This is a rough sketch of the lie she was expected to live.
We then worked out together and it blew her away to uncover a true Catholic perspective with my help, one which honors the body, achieves the purposes for which it’s made, offers its actions for others, and dare I say, glorifies God by care of the flesh.
We happily felt our muscles searing with a burn during high intensity intervals for legs and offered it up for the Holy Souls in Purgatory among other intentions.
…and in that her mind went…POOF!
“I never thought to offer the pain of a workout as a prayer,” she stated.
Well, ladies, let’s feel the burn here, and offer it here, before its the eternal burn of Hell.
I see it as doing the next right thing and the next hard thing as an offering, truly a subduing of the flesh and as a building block for accepting what holiness demands. How do you see it?
If you have a perspective needing massively shifted, call me. I chat for free with any woman who books a call and I help her personally FIND HER FORWARD. Is that you?
Glorify the Lord with me,
“Better is a poor man who is sound, and strong of constitution, than a rich man who is weak and afflicted with evils. Health of the soul in holiness of justice, is better than all gold and silver: and a sound body, then immense revenues. There is no riches above the riches of the health of the body: and there is no pleasure above the joy of the heart.” Sirach 30:14-16
Can you spot the man who photo bombed me? Look for him!
Maybe it’s your current weight, your appetite for aggression, your unbreakable addiction to “that” food or the need to have people praise you, and it’s not as it should be.
Will you win the war or raise your pitiable white flag of surrender and just settle?
That doesn’t work!
It doesn’t work for you, and therefore, it doesn’t work for Him. Seriously!
You may think you cannot change…
You may have tried and failed…
You may be scared to try at all…
Fine. That’s fine. It is real, so very real, and tempting.
Come with me and understand what Our Lord thinks when we just settle and play along with lukewarmness because, after all, it's hard to do the right thing if it's not fixed by a pill.
Sacred Scripture offers these convicting words:
“So because thou art lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spew thee out of my mouth.”
Revelation speaks to people such as those who just settle and throw in their proverbial towel on progress.
You see! Progress takes us from what we are to what we can be.
Who doesn’t need that? I do! Sign me up! Show me the dotted line!
We all must keep progressing spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally. It’s the way of the Saints.
So, it’s time to get it right. We need to be “cutting edge” for our ver selves lest we settle and watch our body from behind bars with a stagnant spirit and mastitis of the mind.
Find your forward,
P.S. I help women around the world everyday just like you to break free of the sensation of being totally stalled out and settling. If you are stuck, stuck, stuck, and you know who you are, then what’s stopping you from getting help? I want to meet you on one powerful phone call soon to help you find your forward once and for all. You are one phone call away from all new MOMentum! www.fitcatholicmom.com/talk
It’s time to get you going forward in faith and fitness!
It's my game face. What's yours?
Well, tell us what it is! What does every Catholic mom want?
I’ll tell you, but first let me tell you of a few mothers who remember their own mothers on an only-lettuce-for-lunch diet, dealing with the drag down effects of ongoing depression, or giving in to the all too common personal fatigue from large family life.
Each of these moms recounts the story of her own mother, mentor and friend and sees that it didn’t have to be that way. Her mother didn’t have to be the victim of self made circumstances and she aims to change and do better than her mother did.
Yeah, it’s formative to see how our mothers have managed to care for themselves body and soul, or not. It does lend itself to our framework to which we cling or which desperately want to separate from.
I remember my own mother struggling as she raised three kids as a single parent while she finished college and worked full-time. She was super stressed, out of shape and resentful.
She didn’t have a minute to herself until she finally made a minute!
At 30 years old, as the first college graduate in her family, while raising three kids as a single parent, my mom took her health back.
Was it selfish for her to begin riding a mountain bike in her few spare moments? NO. Was it wasteful of her time and resources as we started traveling to races so she could compete? NO.
This ended up saving her in a lot of ways. She had an outlet to deal with stress, a reason to rise above her life’s serious relationship rut and encounter herself and others at a new level.
She has truly never been the same and I haven’t either as a result of her choices! Her new enthusiasm and pursuit of better health and happiness made an indelible mark on my person. From this she also learned the importance of holiness.
I can clearly remember this new devotion to health bringing her whole being into better focus. I craved the discipline and direction she had and imitated her, eventually becoming an Olympian and World Champion.
What then do we learn from these mothers who are making changes?
A whole lot! They win and so do their families!
These are women who have just as much life happening as you, but they decided that as Catholic mothers they still deserved to have:
How are they achieving these results? They are taking part daily in formation and accountability in the W.I.S.E. Gals (women improving sport and spiritual endurance) 8-week Intensity Course by Fit Catholic Mom.
Here’s what one of them has to say:
Erin in CO writes in her daily training log which keeps her accountable to me:
“I also wanted to share how great it is to have my children see me making my fitness a priority and see me including prayer while I do it! I have had each of them join me, at their desire, in different workouts and have been humbled at the opportunity to set this example for them... thank you for what do!”
If you're stumped on how you will move yourself forward to feeling whole and healthy then reach out to me for a free coaching chat so we can get to the real problem and find you a real solution,
one acceptable to a Catholic mom.
Cheers, not fears!
Someone loves her training to be a good mommy!
Yes, it is true that many of us reading this still need what looks and feels like 5 wardrobes.
It’s extreme…I know.
You might even read this headline and think, what a shame! How materialistic! Who does this?
Well, just ask any mother if her body has been fit, flabby, newly pregnant, very pregnant or postpartum and then you’ll see the need, even a very simple 5 is 5, no less.
Oh, and did I forget that most of us live where we need several different seasons of clothes depending on the climate? Yeah, that too.
What does this have to do with you and me Catholic mother? Everything.
We think about our flesh too much.
We attach a lot of our worth to what we look like too often.
We build an identity upon our physique too readily.
We thing we’re right and justified, when we’re all too wrong.
Our thigh size isn’t our measure of worth.
Our cup size says nothing of our impact.
Our thrift store clothing doesn’t tell our life’s accomplishments.
Thank goodness this all goes deeper than the skin just like the truth.
However, working with women for over 10 years has taught me that the flesh matters.
It is important, really important, but most often we haven’t correctly sorted the facts from the lies.
You can be doing the same exercises from one woman to the next and one will be building virtue while the other is feeding vanity.
It’s my express interest to retrain moms on how to properly view their flesh and to leverage it for their sanctity! You may want a flat stomach. Fine. Who doesn’t?
There are way too many ways to get there incorrectly! You might live in great deprivation through dieting, exercise excessively, get scrupulous with food to the point it become your God, take a drug(s) or even eat “normal” but eliminate that effect with bulimia.
Plain to see how WRONG all these modes are to bring down your weight and get that firm flat frontside.
On the other hand, if you were to eat what foods work with your system, know when to eat what so you can enjoy control and eat to heal at every meal, exercise at a proper and enjoyable amount and rise to your higher nature as a disciplined person, then you’ll strike gold…and maybe even a broiler plate for a belly.
The honest answer is that sport can and should be used as a school of moral excellence, and if that’s not on the top of your mind while working on your body, you may be twisting it out of true context and negating real development of your person.
Let your food, your faith and your fitness fuel you to life eternal and let me be your guide. Book a free call with me today to figure out your fuel! What makes you tick and what makes you sick?
My help is from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. Psalm 121:2
HAPPY FEAST OF SAINT JOSEPH!